7 sins to christ.......mas.

I'm no theologian.... but doesn't the term 'christmas shopping' relate to some holiday called 'christmas', all the while attempting to relate back to the son of god (aka christ)? please... do correct me if I'm wrong. 

and my understanding of the whole idea of jesus being born, and this whole whiz bang holiday that was actually birthed in the place of his arrival.... i get the sense that it's a direct derivative of, and also one of the main celebrations in all of christianity..... 

hm. and am i correct in thinking that from christianity comes the ideas that 'one should do unto others as you would have them do unto you' oh. wait. isn't that directly from christ's mouth? 

ok then... 

then i must be completely misunderstanding the idea of christmas shopping.... from my observations perhaps it's just a sport? because it tends to appear extremely nasty, competitive, and greedy.... it seems that at any given moment in the 'holiday spirit' we find one of the 7 deadly sins....  

greed.. is the easiest to spot, if you've ever been christmas shopping on black friday. perhaps they should consider renaming it black-eyed friday. try showing up at KB toys (ah the good old days) at about 6 am for a tickle me elmo... and that's just what you'll have. a black eye.. and guess what... no tickle me elmo. 

well, following that wrath is the second easiest to spot. it's visible in the mirror. (hint hint, the black eye that i just spoke of).. but besides that, there's also the wrath of the temper tantrum children when they do not receive said tickle me elmo.... whatever happened to accepting what you got and smiling and pretending?! my parents always taught us to be thankful. (except that one time when my uncle's girlfriend bought me a short robe.... SHORT ROBE.... that was going a little too far...) no temper tantrums allowed. 

envy... well, that's obvious. everyone wanted my short robe. but there was only one of it. so i tossed it up in the air, and instantly there was a family rugby match. ok. i dramatize slightly. but seriously. anyone in my family could sport a short robe better than i can. just saying.... 

sloth.... well, that would be how my brothers used to be this time of year. complete apathy for giving. receiving. they were ok with. the giving. they didn't understand. they're working on that... (stay tuned for the wrathful temper tantrum blog post christmas.....) no. but seriously. i recall my brother once handing me a christmas present... wrapped in a plastic shopping bag. with the logo of the store he had purchased it from. about two hours prior. giving is not rocket science. 


i also hate obligatory giving. this is why my sister in law is my greatest pain in christmas shopping. we don't know each other at all. and what we do know... seems to make us not want to further investigate. this year. i think i did alright. but as for obligatory giving, it goes as far as my immediate family, plus in laws. and it stops there. i love the idea of giving because i felt that kind of moved by something i saw.... to give to someone who i might not usually even write a christmas letter to always. that's what giving is to me. (cue in the lifetime movie theme music... no.... not the one from the domestic abuse film... the other one. yes there are only two)


pride... i think it's really funny... when people need to tell you how much they paid for your gift... no really. please don't. then i'll feel obligated to tell you that i got yours on sale, and yet you still love it. and it's still sentimental. but you spent too much. or even funnier to me when people are so proud that they got SUCH a good deal. i want to be like. i'm so glad you're concerned mostly about being frugal. you did get a good deal..... and wow. a 5000 piece puzzle of a single orange on a salmon colored back drop was exactly what i wanted for christmas. how could you have known? 


lust....... for goodness sakes people.... MISTLETOE. this leads to babies... or at least that's what i've heard... not that i know anything about baby making... just saying.... 


and then of course... last but not least... gluttony. i mean. really. just how many christmas cookies can you eat? and all that other stuff. and how about how we have an excuse to have at least TWO big meals. what other holiday is like this? this is two days long!!! it's like woodstock for eating. (and presents) and pretty much all you do is stay in one place... and eat... and drink... and unwrap presents and create waste..... sounds like gluttony from every angle to me.... 


but anyway....... i digress... christmas shopping. yes. that's where we were. please please please...... realize when you're out there... at the malls... at the discount shops... at the super stores... it doesn't really matter where... retail employees... are actually human too. no! i'm not kidding. can you believe it?? they are actually living and breathing humans. just like you! 


i know. it sounds utterly fantastical, and absolutely ridiculous. but think about it for a minute... yes... let's think about. they are human. 


and they put up with your crap.... every freaking year....... 


so please. be nice to the retail folk. and tip your bartenders. 


if you don't... i will hunt you down.... i will park very very far away... and walk around the parking lot too and from the mall entrance really slowly... weaving in and out of cars and pretending that the car in the second spot is mine... until. oops! nope. it's actually a different black SUV.. my bad. 


merrry christmas!!!!!