rot your brain. taint your soul. daytime tv.

A couple of weeks ago i was hit with a triple whammy... i was home sick from work, my internet wasn't working properly, and the skies opened to drop about a foot and a half of snow on the ground. it may have been a quadruple whammy if you consider the fact that i was also in the midst of my first attempt of quitting smoking... cold turkey. 

my saving grace... or so i thought, was the fact that the the week previous, i had just purchased my first tv. a large flat screen. and had i also picked up a digital antenna, whilst wrestling hard with the local cable network, so that i could at least enjoy some free network tv on my latest acquisition....   

unless i am dying of the plague.... i generally have a difficult time sleeping through the day. i don't know if it's the seeping sunlight. or maybe it's my internal clock. perhaps it's a little bit of everything. i wake up. and i'm up. it's go time. 

i set up camp on the couch, and tried to make myself comfortable enough to survive the day. i flicked on the tv, and searched through the 15 or so channels that come in.. for free... 


within two hours i could readily explain the entire downfall of american society. i hold daytime tv personally responsible for many things wrong with this country...


let's consider all angles in my favorite format.... the bullet point. what exactly happens on daytime tv? you may not even know... think of this also, as simple education. it's the opposite of inquiring minds wanting to know, however. i don't want to set any unrealistic expectations: 

• soap operas- the term soap opera goes as far back as the 1940s. the daytime 'radio' broadcasts of similar melodramatic stories of the time we heavily sponsored by soap companies, or at the very least, general household products. (this is no doubt in line with the idea of the housewife being the primary audience for such shows). opera, apparently refers to the ironic degree of melodrama that is standard in the story line of such shows. radio, and tv alike. if you've been to an actual opera, you would see the degree at which they accentuate or even embellish import parts of the stories being sung, and told.
  
  now that we've had a small history lesson... we can begin to deduce the affect that shows like this have on the daytime general public. the commercials that show during soap operas now... are not quite the household cleaners ads that you may really think of showing, because of the term, soap opera. however, these commercials are all general very infomercial by the looks of them.. and they all offer a small group of the same solutions to the problems that plague the audience of these 'stories':
• how can i lose weight? 
• how fast can i lose weight? 
• can i lose a huge amount of weight in an extremely short period of time?
• i spend most of my time watching daytime tv, can you offer me any other quick solutions for dinner that take under 30 minutes? preferably with very little clean up. 
• are there any household appliances that i can use for several different things? perhaps a waffle iron-panini-sandwich-maker that also roasts chicken, and cure meat. 
• how can i make the skin on my face tighter... i'm suffering the natural process of aging. 

 this list goes on.. but you get the point. it appears to me, that the marketing companies of  nettwork tv have figured out who their target audience is. and from the looks of it, it's obese, lazy people who want a single answer to every thing in their lives... they want it NOW, and they are aging at an incredible speed, and should probably seek professional help.. (of many kinds...)

• Jerry Springer shows- i'm not sure of another way to describe this specific species of tv trash. there's been a name made for jerry springer, so i suppose it won't hurt to continue the branded legacy. many of the daytime talk shows have gone the way of jerry springer. maury povich even started down that trail. montell williams did as well, and then he wised up and started making juicers. there are shows like this that people couldn't even tell you the name of the host... they're just out for blood.
  
  i wonder, are these the same kinds of people that go to hockey games, just hoping for a fight to break out? do they watch nascar, in hopes a car will hit the wall and burst into flames? i'm not really sure i understand these people. i do understand the idea of being unable to turn your view from a car crash, or something equally as random and terrifying... however, i do not understand the people that can't change the channel from jerry springer. that show makes me want to vomit. i watched about 15 minutes of that show... and honestly, i only watched that much because i know that there are things i can tend to immediately discredit without a true and informed decision. but those 15 minutes... i will never get back. and i honestly feel a little worse off having taken that time to invest in such research as a talk show like jerry springer.
  
  these are the kinds of shows that make me physically hurt with disappointment for the human race. honestly... what kind of a resolution do you think you're going to come to if you tell your significant other on a stage, in front of a live audience.... that you've been cheating on them with their mom (and you're a girl...) seriously.... are you crazy? there are more guards working for this show than anything else... that should be telling.
  
  is this how american society learns to mediate their personal issues?
  
  'i'm sorry honey... i just can't figure out how to do this... i don't know how to work through our problems... maybe it'll help if we have an audience of people that have made the same mistakes or worse, and body guard to pull us apart when we start ripping each other's hair out? whatdya think?'
  
  sounds like a marriage made in heaven to me. good luck.
  
• Judge (insert judges name here) shows- these shows, i actually do find enjoyment in. if for no other reason than to feel better about myself. the issues these people bring in front of this judge, are generally unrealistic... absurd, and generally do not paint the picture of the person being a capable, intelligent, and independent person. these shows often show me that most of daytime society... does not take personal accountability for their actions. they're looking to make money off of other people. they think the money they can make off of other people in these judge shows, is something they are owed. entitled to. not because of any choice that they made in their actual life.
  
  hopefully, at some point in their sad little lives, they may realize they're wrong. i think that about 85% (i'm being lenient) of the time... they could have easily prevented a wrong doing unto them... by being more aware, and understanding their own errors. they're own ways of enabling people to take advantage of them, and/or damage their lives in some way that can obviously be measurable and accounted for (if they're asking for financial reprimand)
  
  i think though, my favorite part of these shows are the commercials that air during them....:
• fast cash- just give us the title of your car and we'll give you up to 7 thousand dollars!!! sounds nice. until you realize that you have to pay it all back before you can ever own your car again.. and the interest rate is like 2343252%
• injury lawyers- if you, or someone you know, has not actually injured, but can fake it really well... because of something that is entirely your fault, and could have been prevented, if you had just taken ownership of any mistake you might have made, and not acted like a world cup soccer player who's just been pushed by one finger... but somehow we can skew to making you think you'll ever get settlement money, and in the mean time drain your bank account and all of your dignity.. and self respect.
   

there's more to this... but i'm exhausted from being disgusted. in summation... we have learned a few things about daytime tv, and what it is telling the people at home. (who are generally unemployed, if they're not housewives... and being a housewife, and a stay at home mom... is a full time job...)


the things that we can understand from this are: 

• get fat, we have something that can help you lose weight instantly
• soap operas are just like real life
• jerry springer is a good way to resolve your marital issues
• i want an all-in-one solution for just about every kitchen function
• i am desperately scared of aging 
• spend all your money, we'll give you more if you give us your car!
• sell all your old relatives gold to us, we'll give you cash if you can't get your car back!

i encourage people to not become trapped in any cycle of daytime tv..... when ellen came on at 3, i breathed a sigh or relief, and slowly and painfully walked out of the cave.... 


thank god for ellen.

7 sins to christ.......mas.

I'm no theologian.... but doesn't the term 'christmas shopping' relate to some holiday called 'christmas', all the while attempting to relate back to the son of god (aka christ)? please... do correct me if I'm wrong. 

and my understanding of the whole idea of jesus being born, and this whole whiz bang holiday that was actually birthed in the place of his arrival.... i get the sense that it's a direct derivative of, and also one of the main celebrations in all of christianity..... 

hm. and am i correct in thinking that from christianity comes the ideas that 'one should do unto others as you would have them do unto you' oh. wait. isn't that directly from christ's mouth? 

ok then... 

then i must be completely misunderstanding the idea of christmas shopping.... from my observations perhaps it's just a sport? because it tends to appear extremely nasty, competitive, and greedy.... it seems that at any given moment in the 'holiday spirit' we find one of the 7 deadly sins....  

greed.. is the easiest to spot, if you've ever been christmas shopping on black friday. perhaps they should consider renaming it black-eyed friday. try showing up at KB toys (ah the good old days) at about 6 am for a tickle me elmo... and that's just what you'll have. a black eye.. and guess what... no tickle me elmo. 

well, following that wrath is the second easiest to spot. it's visible in the mirror. (hint hint, the black eye that i just spoke of).. but besides that, there's also the wrath of the temper tantrum children when they do not receive said tickle me elmo.... whatever happened to accepting what you got and smiling and pretending?! my parents always taught us to be thankful. (except that one time when my uncle's girlfriend bought me a short robe.... SHORT ROBE.... that was going a little too far...) no temper tantrums allowed. 

envy... well, that's obvious. everyone wanted my short robe. but there was only one of it. so i tossed it up in the air, and instantly there was a family rugby match. ok. i dramatize slightly. but seriously. anyone in my family could sport a short robe better than i can. just saying.... 

sloth.... well, that would be how my brothers used to be this time of year. complete apathy for giving. receiving. they were ok with. the giving. they didn't understand. they're working on that... (stay tuned for the wrathful temper tantrum blog post christmas.....) no. but seriously. i recall my brother once handing me a christmas present... wrapped in a plastic shopping bag. with the logo of the store he had purchased it from. about two hours prior. giving is not rocket science. 


i also hate obligatory giving. this is why my sister in law is my greatest pain in christmas shopping. we don't know each other at all. and what we do know... seems to make us not want to further investigate. this year. i think i did alright. but as for obligatory giving, it goes as far as my immediate family, plus in laws. and it stops there. i love the idea of giving because i felt that kind of moved by something i saw.... to give to someone who i might not usually even write a christmas letter to always. that's what giving is to me. (cue in the lifetime movie theme music... no.... not the one from the domestic abuse film... the other one. yes there are only two)


pride... i think it's really funny... when people need to tell you how much they paid for your gift... no really. please don't. then i'll feel obligated to tell you that i got yours on sale, and yet you still love it. and it's still sentimental. but you spent too much. or even funnier to me when people are so proud that they got SUCH a good deal. i want to be like. i'm so glad you're concerned mostly about being frugal. you did get a good deal..... and wow. a 5000 piece puzzle of a single orange on a salmon colored back drop was exactly what i wanted for christmas. how could you have known? 


lust....... for goodness sakes people.... MISTLETOE. this leads to babies... or at least that's what i've heard... not that i know anything about baby making... just saying.... 


and then of course... last but not least... gluttony. i mean. really. just how many christmas cookies can you eat? and all that other stuff. and how about how we have an excuse to have at least TWO big meals. what other holiday is like this? this is two days long!!! it's like woodstock for eating. (and presents) and pretty much all you do is stay in one place... and eat... and drink... and unwrap presents and create waste..... sounds like gluttony from every angle to me.... 


but anyway....... i digress... christmas shopping. yes. that's where we were. please please please...... realize when you're out there... at the malls... at the discount shops... at the super stores... it doesn't really matter where... retail employees... are actually human too. no! i'm not kidding. can you believe it?? they are actually living and breathing humans. just like you! 


i know. it sounds utterly fantastical, and absolutely ridiculous. but think about it for a minute... yes... let's think about. they are human. 


and they put up with your crap.... every freaking year....... 


so please. be nice to the retail folk. and tip your bartenders. 


if you don't... i will hunt you down.... i will park very very far away... and walk around the parking lot too and from the mall entrance really slowly... weaving in and out of cars and pretending that the car in the second spot is mine... until. oops! nope. it's actually a different black SUV.. my bad. 


merrry christmas!!!!!

Science... you've failed me again... blow yourself.

I think the act of blowing one's nose is one of the grossest acts in the world. The fact that your head can actually become clogged with mucus, and then present you with the need to manually extract that by physically blowing it into a thin piece of chemically softened paper... well, that just blows my mind... literally. 


I can't imagine that it's actually good for your sinuses as well as your ears, nose, throat, and brain for you to need to create a massive amount of force to push semi solid matter out through your nasal passage ways.

It's situations like this that make me wonder if we've evolved as humans at all.

There's other solutions to your clogged sinuses these days. However, none seem to completely eradicate the need to blow your nose. Decongestants will attempt to extract all of the fluids from your nasal passageways without you needing to blow your nose. Some of them try really hard. None of them succeed 100%. I would like to avoid blowing my nose EVER.

You can also try the neti pot version. Or however, that's spelled. You may not have to blow your nose, however, you'll have to pour hot liquid through your sinuses. (That's my understanding anyway...) I think I'd rather blow my nose than attempt to run liquid between my nose and my throat. As attractive as that sounds.

Humans are brilliant creatures. We've landed on the moon. We've made weapons that can easily destroy an entire country within seconds. (Ok, let me rephrase that... humans are 'able' creatures... I'd hardly consider the weapons... brilliant) We've cured diseases. We've invented ways to communicate with anyone and everyone in singular or in mass... through various types of communicative vehicles. We've learned to predict weather, and meteor showers, as well as many other things. We've learned to turn wind, rain, sun, and dead prehistoric beings into energy.

We've even attempted to achieve civil rights for everyone. (ok, this one is failed thus far, but I am hopeful)

And yet, I still have to blow my freaking nose. I HATE blowing my nose. WHY do I have to blow my nose.

If someone came up with a miracle cold medicine drug... that I had to pay $100 for, out of pocket. To ensure that at the beginning of every cold, I wouldn't have to blow my nose. I would do it. I am guessing lots of people would. There's absolutely a market out there for that.

So, I'm confused. Why then... in a society so centered on money, convenience, and comfort, has no one snatched this amazing opportunity up?

Get to it then. Someone please.

I am jealous of your envy.... (nerd alert)

I tend to be the type of person that follows the rules. Granted that the rules seem legitimate, and are probably in place for good reason. I don't have to always know the reason, but it helps. If I don't know the exact reason, and yet I can see some of the thinking behind a rule based on a need for guidance and structure, I can appreciate that as well.

When it comes to grammar, I feel like I follow the rules in some kind of priority order that I've made for myself. I may be the only one that understands it, and in most cases, that's ok with me. I overuse commas. And ellipses.... and I tend to create ellipses with more or less periods than what is formally required (3 periods). When I get comfortable I'm not a stickler on capitalization. However, there are some things I adhere strongly to. Two. Too. They're. There. Their. It's. Its. 

I love correct spelling, and I am not one to ever attempt to save time by abbreviating words that just look ridiculous to me. I like full words. I feel like I take myself and the world a little more seriously when I use them.

A good friend of mine recently corrected my use of the word jealous. We left the bar, and both took our separate trains home. Once he reached home, he texted me that he was home. I responded that I was jealous. Jealous is often used in these situations, and most people don't bat an eye about the misuse. People know what we mean. However, he explained to me that I was envious. Not jealous.

Interesting.

Being that he is a smart friend, I wanted to know what actually differentiate the two. He explained it well enough so that I understood the difference in practice. However, I wanted a more technical answer to my question. So, what did I do? I googled it. I came across some great information on Stanford's website. Of course, being Stanford, I had to actually look up some of the words they used in their explanation. But it made a lot of sense, and was exactly like my friend had explained, just in nerd language (even nerdier than he already uses).

Here's basically the breakdown. Jealousy has 3 parts. Envy has 2. Jealousy has you, another thing, and yet a third thing that you are actually feeling a loss of. Envy has you and the thing you're desiring or wishing. That is all.

So, when he got home, and I wanted to be home, I was envious, not jealous. I wanted to be home, but didn't feel a loss, because I wasn't home, and it didn't matter in general who was home. I was envious of all the people in the world that were home, and I was not.

Jealousy, however, is focused on something that we feel is being taken away by something else. So, something we feel like we 'have', our ownership is feeling threatened or questioned.

Let's you a people example. If myself and my partner were having issues in our relationship, and a third person were to seemingly be taking their attention away from me, and this upset me, I would be jealous. If that third person the following week becomes a different person, I would still remain in a jealous state.

The central focus being my partner, and the potential loss of that relationship.

However, if I was at a bar with my friend, and he gets a free drink, I could be envious. I'm not feeling like I'm losing anything that I felt like I 'had'. My emotion is directly tied to only something I wish I had gained.

Yes. I know, this is not nearly as humorous as some of the posts that you may start becoming accustomed to.

However, I believe I am doing society a favor by shedding light to yet another ignored subject manner.

(They're my favorite)

The morale of the story... is if you're secure enough in yourself, and create your own life, and future. You'll never have to worry about misuse of either of these terms. You will hopefully hardly ever need to use them!!

So, go out there... and just be happy.

since we're on the topic of health care reform.....

There are times when I look at the bigger picture of the society I'm surrounded with, and I get frustrated. There are yet other times, where I look at the little pieces of society, and I get enraged. In both cases I may feel guilty about things that I can't really ultimately solve on my own. Then I tend to feel guilty that my guilt alone isn't helping the cause, but it's wasting energy and distracting me from things that I actually can control.

I imagine this is much like the guilt that Catholics feel in terms of their religious applications to godly things and daily life... then again, I don't actually know any Catholics who let their guilt stop them from doing anything.. (as the design of this religious institution might suggest...)

Isn't that what Hail Mary's are for?

I digress... health care reform... right.

I don't love bandaids. I wash my hands about a million times a day, and there's nothing more unpleasant on your finger than a dampened bandaid that really just needs to be thrown away and replaced to actually continue functioning as it's intended.

However, there is definitely some practicality in their invention. They keep dirt out and prevent infection. Even for someone who washes their hands as often as I do. They also protect cuts from actual contact to things that could just aggravate an open cut. And now that winter is coming as well as dry skin season, in the northeast, I would bet that folks increase their bandaid inventories at times like this.
The bandaid industry, however, infuriates me. I've long since abandoned the idea of buying 'flesh' colored bandaids. I use them in the office, sure, or first aid kits, when necessary, but as far as buying them, I do not.

For a few reasons. First, I think it's ridiculously ironic, when a young professionally looking 30something year old female, 9-5er, is wearing a fluorescent bandaid and/or a bandaid with a print of some cartoon character. Most likely for a cartoon I've never seen, like Dora, or Spongebob. (I have yet to find teenage mutant ninja turtle, or GI-joe bandaids) Perhaps this allows me some 'freedoms' in the corporate world where I cannot easily display my tattoos. Oh, sense of individuality, and self, sometimes you get the best of me. (Note: Tattoos are acceptable in my office, it's just generally too cold to actually wear clothes that would expose them... brrrr A/C)

Secondly, and I think more importantly....the 'flesh' bandaids do not actually represent my flesh. Well, they come closer to mine than some. However, I think it's kind of ridiculous that the bandaid industry is then, inadvertently, choosing what the acceptable color of human flesh should be. Doesn't this bother anyone else?

I understand that they do make a few other choices as far as flesh colors in plastic first aid applications go. However, as I stood in the bandaid aisle, yet again a couple of weeks ago, I am still dumbfounded by the fact that the 'middle-of-the-road-average-caucasion' is really the true 'color' of humanity. Some may argue that it's based on population statistics, minorities, and other factors that determine this. Yet, I've not once seen a census taken for skin color as a shade, for the purpose of clearly determining bandaid colors to market to the public.

Furthermore, I think the shade that is actually the most abundant is not really a shade that makes sense anyway. If you put the same color bandaid on the finger of 100 people, it's likely to stand out on every single one of their fingers for not even being a close match. 1 out of 100 might be closer than most, but that's my guess as to the statistics that are technically represented.

Who made the choice that a bandaid should be 'flesh' colored? Why would this make sense? They make clear ones already, do they not?

If you can't tell, I feel a little bitter about this subject, and have probably since my grade school years, discussing race with my grandmother. She used to use the term 'colored' often, and when starting to break down my own thoughts and opinions on things, I then asked her if that meant that we were 'discolored'. This, she had no answer to, and seemed to start consciously attempting to use other terms, that seemed more appropriate.

I have a really hard time when I see things like this. Maybe it's because I feel like there are fragments of history that seem to be leftovers, remaining unaddressed, proving, as far as we've come. We've still got a really long way to go.

It just seems like a kick in the face to the equality of the heart, spirit, soul and mind that seems to often be encouraged in people these days. If your skin color is not of the 'middle-of-the-road-average-caucasion' variety, you walk down the bandaid aisle... and the products look up at you and scream.

Yes, you are different. How does this aid in emotional self progress of understanding that we're all related as humans on a wonderful level? That your emotions, and human identity should ultimately, supersede the bandaid aisle?

This, I don't know.

Midterms...and Projectiles... er Projections.

Midterms... it's kind of a dirty word this week. Whether you're just recovering from the midterms of your college term, or you're recovering from the abysmal election day that went down last night... it definitely seems like an anxious and generally stressful term. 

I'm not sure that I quite understand the projected winner idea. I've been watching the polls, and it seems that at a 2% margin, with still 9% of the votes to be reported, Pennsylvania has already determined that Pat Toomey has beat his opponent Joe Sestak in the election, changing the Senate seat in question from Democratic to Republican. 

However, that projection seems a bit close to me. I would think they'd want to wait a little longer to determine a more sound victory.

Wouldn't it be a shame if we came down to it and the rest of the reported polls came in, and it turned out Sestak did actually win? (The only two that seem to be left are from Delaware and Philadelphia Counties... which are both predominantly Democratic, I believe) 

I can't imagine the look on either of their faces given the news. Though, I do think that it would be delightful to film such reactions. I can imagine Joe Sestak's look of surprise, and excitement. After being so down and out. Much like a small child would look on Christmas morning after realizing they still had one gift left to open, and it was in fact the impossible-to-find-and-yet-sure-to-break-in-ten-minutes robo-transformer they had been dreaming about. 


And thinking of the look on Pat Toomey's face even is more thrilling. I would imagine it would be a look that the same small child would make. Not on Christmas morning, however, no. On the first day of school around lunch time, where he's trying to make friends, and he's just realized he's shit his pants. Yes, that would be the priceless look. Add on top of that the fact that he has to now walk back to the class, tell the teacher, and both of his parents are at work. 


I doubt that sitting in your own shit is an exciting feeling. Especially after eating the best damn lunch you've ever tasted.

These are the thoughts that I'm holding on to for those last 9% of polls. One of them is mine. Since, I did in fact have to vote 'Provisional' style this election. After moving around a bit throughout the year, no one knew where I was living, and/or voting.

I would think that projected winners in close elections is a little like spending your income tax rebate before it arrives, just to realize you're not getting back nearly as much as you thought. 


Maybe... just maybe, it shouldn't be done.

Don't catch the 'New Era' you will look like a tool....

Apparently I missed the memo in fashion. Or being cool. Someone please forgive me... Or, everyone else just missed the memo that our human heads are in fact round, and baseball caps are wonderfully shaped and styled to be ergonomically correct. It's amazing how that works.

You can create a stitch, and cut a material to fit a body that was designed before the design of the 'New Era'. Incredible. I thought maybe that I had missed something however, with the increasing number of folks who keep their rims as flat as possible.

Dude, your face just isn't shaped that way. Calm yourself.

Maybe that dates me. Growing up in a time when it was better to curve your hat, or you looked too nerdy. There were practices in the idea of 'breaking in' a hat. Many hats were sold with curve already in them. This, to me, makes sense. Heads are round. Rims are curved. Perfect harmony.

Call me old school, but I think a flattened rim looks hideous. I've been horribly internally tempted to run up to a kid on the train and just bend his rim. See what would happen.

Or, better yet. Rip that freaking holographic sticker off.

What could he do? (I would say he/she here, however, I haven't seen any women with this Socially Transmitted Defect...so I will stick with my fairly large survey sample, and let it be many many boys in the Philadelphia area, between the ages of 11 and 27 is my best guess)

Seriously, I want to walk up to one of them with my bright red, worn in, rim bent Phillies hat, and rip that sticker off. Look at them for a long minute, and then fasten that sticker at the top of one of the bent sides of my rim.

The look in the face of a tool abiding boy after I've just seemingly ripped him of his manhood? Cool status? What am I seemingly ripping him of here? I have no idea.

In the vain of education I did some research.

Apparently, I am not the only one out there that thinks the sticker on the hat is stupid. There's been many a question posted on many a blog out in the vast world wide web.

A little google-ing, and already, I feel smarter.

According to the mass bloggers, question answerers, and authenticators at hand on this glorious, sound, and effective research tool known as the internet, there are several reasons for a young lad to leave the sticker on his baseball hat after purchase.

1. He's an idiot. (Ok, fair enough... this is my reason, but I figured, if the bloggers are just as sound research-wise, and I am one of them... and this is my blog. What the hell.)
   
2. Keeping the sticker proves that it is an 'Authentic'. This answer baffles me. It's an authentic hat? Well, if it goes on your head.... pretty damn authentic. No? Or can it be a fake hat? I'm so confused by the fake-ness of time and space, and matter and gravity.
   
3. Looking further, the sticker is proving the 'Authenticity' of the New Era brand. First of all, before this whole idea of the hats with sticker, I don't think I've ever really known of the New Era brand itself. And being an avid baseball fan, I feel that the entire sample of folks that have this instilled in their soul.. needing to prove authenticity for a brand that means little to the actual sport of baseball as it were... is being scammed. Poor poor kids.
   
4. Furthermore, the authenticity of these baseball caps mean nothing, if they're not the same ones the players are wearing. And they are not. Some of them have funky patterns on them, and do not look like they even are attempting to represent the team, of which the logo is still hidden somewhere on the article. Very strange. Indeed.
   
5. I've never seen a baseball player with a sticker on their hat. No, wait. That's a lie. I believe I did see one on Ryan Howard's hat.... minutes after they won the World Series in 2009. And I believe that those hats might have been new. :)
   
6. Ok, I've realized that the numbers mean nothing anymore having jumped from reasons that they wear them, and reasons that I think stickers on hats are stupid. Such the design of this rant I suppose, and I will continue in this non-structured structural manner as I see fit.
   
7. I have seen quite a few people complain that removing the sticker creates a sticky circle where dust can now collect and make your brim look dirty. This is the funniest reason to me, and yet at least I understand it. This is something you all should flock to the manufacturer with complaints on. You passive aggressive fools. (hm... well, it does attract dust... hm... I'll just leave it.... you are so tough)
   
8. As for me. I'll keep buying my hats from lids, bending the crap out of the brim, and avoid ripping stickers off of random passerbyers.
   

Go Phillies. Baseball season is so close. :)