Some people may be mistaken. Or, at least... it seems like they are. They think that subway cars are their own personal rooms. That just stepping inside the subway car to get to work, or whatever the destination of your choice is, allows them the freedom to be and do whatever they want.
Here's a news flash folks... Subway cars are in fact, public spaces.
If you wouldn't do what you're doing, or be how you are, in a crowded elevator, a public waiting room, or anywhere else where people are free to frequent, then you should not do it here either. Maybe the issue comes from something that is more rooted in that idea. That no matter where you are you, you would do these things, and you have no concern for the people that surround you, that are immediately affected by your environmental decisions. I cannot say that for sure, however, because that, I ultimately do not understand that mentality. I would hope the best for people's intentions, but have been proven wrong time and time again that intention is a big word for some people to swallow... I digress. This is not a lesson in vocabulary.
Here's a few things that really irritate me when people do them on the subway however..
- As much as I enjoy hearing the louder half of an inappropriate conversation, that makes no sense to me... Please cut it out. I'm not suggesting that people don't use their cell phones out in public. That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying, you should consider the venue, the conversation, and your neighbors before jumping face first into an X-rated conversation about sexual positions, and the 'things he does', while blaring that into my ear. Last time I checked... I wasn't there when these things took place, and I'd like to avoid reliving them through you, at all costs. I'm sure everyone else in the subway car wants to know just how sexually active you are... as much as I do. I can't honestly speak for the general public, but I do get the sense....
My favorite is when you're screaming into your phone about someone that is actually in your space. It seems that the same people that think stepping into a subway car gives them some kind of natural privacy from the world, also think that whatever they say into a phone isn't heard by those around them. Or maybe that's the passive aggressive plot thickening. I love it when someone sitting near me, begins to scream into their phone about how someone sitting in the seat in front of them smells... or looks, and it's blatantly obvious who they're speaking about and that they have no reserve for how other people react or feel around them. No, this isn't awkward or anything to those around us.
I personally do not like talking on the phone in a public place like that unless I absolutely have to. The situations where I would deem this appropriate would be if I'm getting picked up. If I'm meeting someone somewhere, and we need to know what time. If any of the details of my next few hours, or days need a sense of urgency in their response. This is when I would think it's ok. Most of the time if there's something simple to convey a text message will do the job. Technology is progressing at an alarming rate, and the ability to send me typed words through wireless devices is becoming increasingly popular.
I encourage technicaly evolution! - Eating.... this one is particularly nauseauting to me. Think about it. This is an enclosed space. Little or no air circulation. Here's a situation that really happened.
I get on the subway after a long day of work. I'm exhausted, and looking forward to a few minutes of quiet train travel before getting off at my stop, and heading home. It's a nice decompression. I used to read on the train when I took the regional rails out towards the suburbs, but I find reading harder on the subway. Mostly because I'm a big wuss, and get motion sick from the starting and stopping so often, while reading.
So, now I just sit. And honestly, I don't mind it. It's peaceful. I have about 15-25 minutes to sit on the train before I reach my stop.
On a particular day, I was riding the subway, and two stops in a lady gets on the subway, with one of those foam dinner platter things. The type of take out styrofoam that pretends it's divided to separate your foods. I'm sure you know which ones I'm talking about. She has one of those, and it's full of greasy, and very messy buffalo chicken wings. Under normal circumstances I would think this is not the scent I want to travel home with. However, I would deal with it, because I understand that people can carry food on the train to consume at their destination of choice.
Of course, this is not the case today.
This woman, sits right behind me, and opens up her wings. She then proceeds to start eating them. Slurping every morsel from the bone, and making me particularly disgusting sucking noises in my ear. I wanted to vomit. She then proceeds to finish, and places the tray of bones and liquid remnants on the subway car floor.
Are you kidding me? There will be a garbage can just about immediately upon exiting the car when you reach your stop.
None of that self interaction that she had, did I, or could I understand. I could not imagine being that hungry that I needed to create such an uncomfortable space for those around me in this public environment. Nor, do I get the idea that she is so f@%*ing lazy that she can't hold onto her tray of bones, enclosed in her styrofoam take out tray and bag, until she exits.
My mind is often blown by people like this. - Something that you may want to consider while on the subway.... There's a very good chance, that no one that's riding with you, knows you. And you do not know them. That's probably very common.
Don't talk to me.
Small talk is ok. It's funny to joke about the horrible state of SEPTA. (The Philadelphian mass transit system.) It's ok to bullshit every once in a while if we're stuck on the train. It's even ok to see someone you might like, and maybe ask them to coffee, or a beer. I'm not saying we all need to be cold to each other, and ride the subway like a bunch of frigid robots.
There are however, in my opinion... things that are not ok to talk to neighbors about. Let's brainstorm some of the things that you might not want to talk to your fellow commuters about. Well, for one. That conversation on the cell phone from point number one (above). No. Don't tell me about that once you're now off the phone, or while you're on the phone. I don't want to hear it. In case that wasn't clear before.
If you are dying from a terminal illness, or if you're surviving. Please don't tell me. I will look like the insensitive prick that doesn't care. Then I will feel even more guilty about the fact that I have little or no reaction to give to a person that I have no invested emotions in. I will then spiral into my own self loathing for having complete compassion fatigue and will have created a self inflicted (er... a you inflicted) complex that I will never be able to shake, and I will eventually die in a black and darkened corner crying myself only sad tears.
Anything that you feel the need to reach out and share with people, tell your therapist. Or your cat. I can't handle that kind of guilt. And you can't seem to handle your own issues yourself, or maybe you have no support structure of family and friends. I don't know. I'm not a psychologist, and as much as I would like to help you from your inner termoil. I really don't. So that's a lie.
In short. (or in long as it seems to be the case...) Try to exhibit a bit of social tact. Self control, and hell maybe even respect for the environment that you enter.
Try to see outisde yourself, to a better place... where other people exist, and world can remain more clean without your garbage.
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